I need your help

unwrittenart:

Hi everyone! (I’m actually really nervous about this.. but.. here goes nothing..)

I am in need of your help. I’m gonna explain why. One of the reasons is actually very sensitive as I would be risking my family and my own safety if I did so say the sensitive reason why I’m asking for your help. Well, I have a few reasons why I’m doing this. I would be fine with sharing it to any of you if you want to know, just message me. I hope that you’ll read til the end. Please bear with me as this might be a long post. But I’ll try to summarize everything as much as I can. I might not share all the details because as I’ve said, it’s really risky and complicated. 

But I can’t take it anymore, I can’t just keep my mouth shut and let life drag me down as the days go by. It’s really heart-wrenching for me everytime I think about my situation, my family’s situation. This mess we’re in is even tearing our family part bit by bit. My mom and I aren’t in good terms because of this. This “mess” is the root of all the disaster that’s happening in my family right now. Ok, so I’m gonna tell you why I’m asking for your help. I have some plans to help my mom because we’re struggling financially, and by struggling, I mean that we’re really having a hard time financially. It’s actually the reason why I think she’s depressed. I noticed how she’s been irritable and sensitive lately, she’s also a lot more aggressive. I honestly don’t know where it started but I have a feeling that it’s due to our endless problems. 

Then, we had an argument. I talked back because I didn’t like the things she said. Take note : I know she didn’t mean any of the words she said, she was just able to tell us such horrible things because she’s stressed. I know because I’m completely aware of what my family is facing. She said things like how me and my siblings are such nuisances in her life, that we’re such a huge “responsibility”, that she wants to leave us, she threatened to poison us so we’d just die. I have two younger siblings and yes, I’m the eldest. My brother’s 12 while my little sister’s 10. So yeah, I know it sounds crazy and complicated, much like straight from a drama film. I cried, of course, I mean, who wouldn’t? I wasn’t able to contain my anger because I was truly hurt by the things she said, that’s why I was able to talk back. I know it’s wrong, very very wrong, but I’ve apologized. I can’t say that she accepted my apology because now she’s being cold to us. Specially to me. She acts as if I’m invisible. She doesn’t call me by my name, refers to me as ‘it/her’ when she talks about me with my younger siblings. I’m doing all the work at home, woke up very early to cook breakfast because she won’t do it. Me and my brother were even late because like I said, I had to do all the work by myself. It’s really taking a toll on me. And the fact that she’s really mad at me hurts me more.

Just this morning, I almost cried when a friend of mine smiled at me. Yes, it is that hard for me. To see someone smile at me, it’s as if someone lessened my pain somehow. I’m feeling really hopeless that’s why I decided to write this, to you. I am in desperate need of your help. Any amount will be very much appreciated. I will use the money to buy a new laptop for my blog because the laptop I’m currently using is broken, it’s actually a gift and it’s kinda old but It’s about to reach its limit. It might just suddenly break again and I don’t have enough money to have it repaired, (I have created a new blog) and a camera (a cheap or second hand mini dslr camera will do.) I’ve signed up to a blog advertising company and once I earn enough money from blogging or any other online job I could find, I want to make a business to help my mom out. Please, I’m not sharing these details with you to act meek so that you would give me money. I can’t ask help from my friends either because they’re all connected to that one “person” who wants to harm us. My boyfriend is trying his best to help me at the meantime but I don’t want to ask any more help from him like money because my mom doesn’t want to accept it. I’m sharing these details with you to let you know why I need your help. :( But all of our problems have one root, and I can’t tell you that root (unless you message me about it, I’d be okay with sharing it with you) because once I expose it, it’s like I’m calling out to the person who wants to .. I’m sorry, I really can’t say it. I actually thought of making a video about this, to explain everything elaborately (verbally) but I can’t either. Because I really cannot expose myself.  My mom doesn’t know I’m asking for your help, and I don’t have any plans of telling her yet.

If you’d like to send any amount of money, please message me via Twitter or here (on Tumblr) for the Paypal link. I can’t share it on here as well because it contains our location. It’s just really risky. We can’t ask help from anyone in my country because 1.) It could make our problem 10x more complicated and worse. 2.) We are all terrified to death if anyone finds us. 

I will be very grateful to any amount that you’re willing to give. And if it won’t be a bother, could you please reblog this? Thank you so much! <3

When things get better in the future, I will make video about this ^-^

Thank you so much and god bless you. <3